As you can see, I have a bad cold that makes my nose and eyes sick and crusty. My mom and dad keep wiping my face and I REALLY hate it. I wish they would just let me eat my snot. Who needs to see through their eyes anyway?
They took me to the mall playground to cheer me up and while I was playing, I fell on my head and got a big owie. Thanks a lot, mom and dad. You should have been watching me better.
Then, my parents thought a nice trip to the river might help everyone feel better. The water was too cold and everything smelt like beer. I think I have giardia now.
Finally, they took me to church even though I really needed a nap. So I threw up all over my dad's white shirt right before he had to teach a lesson. Parents. When will they learn? When I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weekend, then everyone suffers.